What Our Children Tell Us
"I can't spend much time with him because he's working. Sometimes I go with him to work on the weekends. But I just wish that he wouldn't work so much." (Galinsky, 1999)
From a 14-year-old: "If a child has something to say, listen to them. They might teach you something." (Galinsky, 1999)
- Children's enjoyment of school is enhanced.
- In two-parent families where fathers are highly involved in children's schools, students are more likely to get top grades and enjoy school than in families where fathers have low involvement, even after taking into account a variety of other child and family conditions that may influence learning. In these circumstances, the chances that children will get mostly As are higher when the father is highly involved than when the mother is highly involved (NCES, 1997 ).
- In general, children have better educational outcomes as long as either the mother or the father is highly involved. Children do best when both parents are highly involved.
- When parents are highly involved in their children's schools, the parents are more likely to visit museums and libraries, participate in cultural activities with their children, and have high educational expectations for them. (NCES, 1997).
- Thirty-two percent of children in grades K-12 got mostly As compared to 17 percent of those with low-involvement fathers;
- Eleven percent of children in grades K-12 were suspended or expelled compared to 34 percent of those with low-involvement fathers;
- Thirteen percent of children in grades K-12 repeated a grade compared to 18 percent of those with low-involvement fathers; and
- Forty-four percent of children enjoyed school compared to 30 percent of those with low-involvement fathers (NCES, 1997).
- Children do better academically when their fathers are involved in their schools, whether or not their fathers live with them, or whether or not their mothers are involved. When non-custodial fathers are highly involved with their children's learning, the children are more likely to get As at all grade levels (NCES, 1997).
"Time is something, once it's gone, it's gone forever. So, you can look back and think, 'Well, gee, I wish I would have spent more time with my kids when they were younger. I wish I would've spent more time with them when they were in high school,' whatever. But once time is gone, that's it." (Galinsky, 1999)
In the mornings, "We got to ride in the car together — we had a good time in the car. We could say a few nice words to each other and start the day in the right way." (Galinsky, 1999)
- The most common involvement activity in which parents participate is a general school meeting, such as a back-to-school night.
- Most parents do participate in at least some of the activities in their children's schools. But parents in two-parent homes tend to divide the task of involvement between them. To save time, one or the other will attend, but usually not both.
- Parents who are highly involved in their children's schools are more likely to also be involved at home. Similarly, families who are involved in their children's schools tend to share other activities with their children as well.
- Highly involved parents are more likely than all others to believe that their children will get further education after high school and will graduate from a four-year college.
- Highly involved parents offer their children greater connections to the larger community. These parents are more likely to belong to an organization such as a community group, church, synagogue, union or professional organization. They are also more likely to participate in an ongoing service activity and to attend religious services on a weekly basis.
- Parents are more likely to be highly involved if their children attend private, as opposed to public, schools. But private schools often make parental involvement a requirement; thus, part of the higher involvement may be a matter of school policy.
- High involvement in schools tends to decrease as school size increases.
- Parents tend to decrease their involvement as their children move up the educational ladder. This decrease may be due to parents' idea that involvement in schools is not as important as children grow up. Additionally, there have been fewer opportunities for parental involvement as children become older (Zill and Nord, 1994).
- Parents are more involved when they are confident that they can be of assistance to the child, when they believe that the child is capable of doing well in school and when they have high educational aspirations for the child (Abramovitch in Lamb, 1997).
- In two-parent families, the proportion of children with highly involved fathers drops from 30 percent to 25 percent between elementary (grades K-5) and middle school (grades 6-8), but then drops only slightly, to 23 percent, in high school (grades 9-12).
- Among children living in single-father families, there is no decrease in the proportion that have highly involved fathers between elementary and middle schools (53 percent at both grade levels), but a large decrease between middle and high school (to 27 percent) (NCES, 1997). What Fathers Can Do at Home, at School and in the CommunityFathers can initiate or participate in activities that help their children succeed academically. Helping children learn can increase success in school. The nature and frequency with which parents interact in positive ways with their children reflect the parents’ investment in their children’s education (NCES, 2000). Here are some steps that fathers can take at home, at school and in the community that make a positive difference for their children’s education.At home, fathers can:
Years of research show that the best way is for the parent to serve as a model reader by reading to the child and by reading themselves. If the father can’t read the text, he can stimulate his child’s imagination by telling stories using a picture book. In addition, he can ask other significant adults to read to younger children and ask older children to read to him. He can take frequent trips to the library with the child to check out books and get to know the children’s librarian and children’s library programs.
- Read with their children. The ability to read well is known to be one of the most critical skills a child needs to be successful. Parents and caregivers often ask how they can get their children interested in reading, interested enough to turn off the TV and to read on their own?
At bedtime, a father can enrich a child’s life merely by recounting what he did during the day. Discussing the day’s events shows interest in the child and builds his or her knowledge. A father may also tell or read a story. Every moment he spends and every word he says builds a relationship with his child.At school and other childcare and child development programs, fathers can:
- Establish a daily routine. Fathers can set a time for homework, chores and other activities; use TV wisely by limiting viewing to no more than two hours a school day; and work with their child on homework and special projects, guiding them through the steps involved and encouraging them along the way. Parents don’t need to have in-depth knowledge of a subject, but can be supportive of their child in working through tough spots in her or his school work.
- Make the most of bedtime. Bedtime is a terrific opportunity for fathers to connect with their children. For one thing, the audience is definitely captive! There are also fewer distractions. But perhaps most importantly, there is no judge standing by with a scorecard rating the dad on his performance.
- Participate in efforts to keep their children’s schools or childcare centers safe.
- Plan for the future by talking with their children and school counselors about future high school courses and postsecondary career options.
- Attend parent-teacher conferences and school or class events.
- Volunteer at school. Fathers are welcome at schools as tutors, as leaders of afternoon or evening clubs, as chaperons for field trips, social activities or athletic events, or as classroom speakers who share information about their work and the world of work and how education contributed to their expertise on the job.
- Visit their child’s school or center. Father-child breakfasts or lunches are good opportunities to informally share a meal with children and learn about their daily school experiences, successes and concerns.
- Meet their child’s teachers and learn about school curriculum, and how to become involved in activities.
- Pitch in to help meet school and program needs, such as installing new playground equipment, cooking at a school picnic or painting and repairing school property.
- Join the Parent Teacher Association or other parent groups at their child’s school or childcare center. At meetings, they can make their voices heard regarding their concerns and ideas for school improvement.